Drawing on my master’s thesis, this talk explores biographical narratives of polyamorous people through the lenses of minority stress and well-being, and introduces tools for affirmative counseling that support transformation in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships.

Minority stress refers to the chronic stress experienced by members of marginalized social groups as a result of social exclusion. The Minority Stress Model helps us understand the mononormativity that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships encounter. By looking at the areas of polyamorous lives that nurture well-being, we can find ways to reduce the impact of minority stress.

Polyamorous narratives often draw on psychological techniques of personal development as a path toward self-alignment and personal congruence. Self-reflection and connection within communities can cultivate psychosocial well-being and ease minority stress. At the same time, these narratives often reveal tensions between self-development and broader neoliberal pressures toward self-optimization.

We will explore psychological transformation on three levels: through the body as a keeper of (social) experience; through feeling – a sense of foreignness, much like in Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land; and through the creation of new social spheres, such as joining and shaping creative communities for connection.